Path to Wholeness

Letting Go of Fear

by Leave a Comment

Some people call us the Culture of Fear. Truthfully, there are things today to be fearful of: Economic collapse, cyberwarfare, government corruption, mass shootings, human trafficking, and many more. Letting go of fear is definitely a challenge. So, let me offer you some ways for letting go of your fear.

A Story of Letting Go of Fear

Katie Manning fell critically ill with chronic fatigue syndrome. Her tiredness was debilitating and she desperately wanted to find a way to get well. She saw numerous doctors and read countless resources about this illness. Finally, she realized that her most prevalent issue was that she had allowed her mind to spend a lot of time in a place of fear. Once she started working on this fear, she began to heal. By going through a process of letting go of her fear, she achieved complete healing.

This made me curious about how we can do this too. One helpful resource I found was “Love is Letting Go of Fear” https://www.amazon.com/Love-Letting-Go-Fear-Third/dp/158761118X/ref by Gerald Jampolsky, MD. He begins his book telling us that there are two main emotions that come in conflict with each other – Love and Fear. And we must choose which one will win.

We inherited the Gift of Love

Love is considered our natural inheritance. When the expert of the law wanted to know what the most important commandment was, Jesus said it was to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself. The Apostle Paul listed in I Corinthians thirteen, three important virtues – faith, hope and love; but he said the greatest of these is love. Love is a response that always wins!

Our Mind Manufactures Fear

On the other hand, fear is an emotion that our mind manufactures. Fear tends to attach itself to things in our past. It becomes a video that our mind plays over and over, connecting with the reminders from our past. This fear can be subtle and sneaky and will arise in many forms and disguises.

However, don’t confuse a manufactured fear with the real threat of harm that you are actually experiencing in the moment. Once this fearful threat is over, it will usually disappear. In comparison, the fear manufactured in your mind will whirl around continuously in your thoughts, choosing to stay and affect you.

Fear-Based Emotions

Let me show you a list of some fear-based emotions that might show up in your life:

  • Anxiety or worry
  • Anger, frustration or irritation
  • Feeling hopeless or helpless
  • Despair and depression
  • Panic
  • Fatigue
  • Dishonesty (by lying to yourself and others)
  • Getting cold feet or giving up
  • Excessive focus on the past or the future
  • Jealousy and suspicion
  • Shrinking away from your true self
  • Being selfish and not considering other’s opinions or viewpoints
  • Trying to please other people
  • Focusing on the negative
  • Not confronting others for fear of arguments
  • Not asking others to help you
  • Feeling worthless or alone

Do you see how fear can distort your perception? It can also cause you to be afraid of love without consciously realizing it.

Years ago, I began to live with fear because of a number of things I experienced. I tried to stay busy and please others, not wanting anyone to know who I really was. I felt worthless and became afraid of opening my heart to love. However, love and fear can’t be experienced at the same time. Unfortunately, I made a poor choice… I chose fear.

Ways to Replace your Fear with Love

But I have learned some responses that can help replace your fear with Love:

  • Forgiving people who have hurt you
  • Accepting people for ‘Who’ they are, not ‘How’ they act
  • Finding Peace of mind (People don’t have to change, in order for us to experience peace)
  • Begin living with Hope
  • Self-care
  • Imagining yourself safe in God’s arms
  • Letting go of everyone and everything, so you can be free
  • Trusting God
  • Meditating
  • Improving your health
  • Focusing on the present moment
  • Being Positive
  • Being Grateful and Thankful
  • Developing healthy relationships
  • Generosity
  • Laughter
  • Honesty
  • Joy
  • And Loving God, others, and yourself!

The Many Ways I Forgave

One of the things that helped me open my heart to love was to forgive. It took time because it involved so many people:

I needed to forgive my father for criticizing me so often; my mom for controlling me; a grieving grandma for hurting me; boyfriends who betrayed me; the policeman who was responsible for my father-in-law’s death – putting him in jail because he believed he was drunk when he had actually experienced a stroke; the man my mother-in-law remarried, who strangled her to death; the girl who was driving when my niece was killed, the woman who hit my nephew on his bike, taking his life; my husband and a friend betraying me; the man who brutally beat my ex-husband, who now lives with a brain injury; the drunk who slammed into my car, causing a lifetime of neck and shoulder pain. Thankfully, I began to feel free when I let go of my anger and hurt.

A while back, I went to bed and tossed and turned. My muscles hurt, my emotions were up and down, and my body was restless. I sensed a voice saying, “Gwen, you’re angry and you need to forgive what that family member did to you recently.” I immediately knew that was true. I forgave them and let go of my anger. I then fell into a peaceful sleep.

What You Can Do

I encourage you to pick out some of the fear-based emotions that you are experiencing right now (see the list above). Then look at the second list (a few paragraphs above) that offers you ideas for replacing your fear with love. Start  a habit of practicing these things in the second list. And don’t forget to ask God for his help. You may even want to journal about the people and experiences that hurt you. I found this helpful myself. It turned into a book called, “Broken by Accident”, https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Accident-Finding-Purpose-Stories-ebook/dp/B08K3W619L/ref. You may also want to find a counselor who can help you with this process of moving from fear to love.

The Rewards for Letting Go of Fear

Letting go of fear may seem like a big challenge for you. But your love for God, yourself, and others will improve through this process. It will allow you to make the best decision of your life – a chance to live in Love. And it will be the greatest experience you will ever have!

Anxiety Relief

by Leave a Comment

Do you ever need some Anxiety Relief? Well, you are not alone. When Jesus indicated that he wanted to feed a crowd of 4,000, the disciples react out of anxiety, abandoning their rational thinking. (You can read this story in Mark 8:1-9). You might say that the disciples needed some Anxiety Relief!

So what happens when a person gets anxious and overly concerned? First, the emotional and logical parts of our brain disconnect when we experience a crisis or trauma. This kind of stressor then causes feelings of anxiety. Once we become anxious it becomes easy for our ‘responses’ to become ‘reactions’ because we aren’t functioning from both sides of our brain (emotional & logical).

Satan uses stress, trauma, and hurtful situations to form “lies” in our mind that are not true. Keith Strohm’s book, “The Ten Biggest Lies of the Enemy”, lists what he believes are the most common lies: I am alone, I can only count on myself, God is not a good Father, The Devil is as powerful as God, Following God means giving up happiness, God is powerless to help me, I am so broken and damaged that there’s no hope for me, I am meant to suffer, I have to be perfect to earn God’s love, and I am insignificant.

 Are you aware that anxiety shares the same Latin word as anger? It is translated, “to choke”. Anxiety chokes and limits our life, creating uncertainty. It interferes with our ability to think clearly and objectively (Peter Steinke).

Neurologist Paul MacLean explains the brain as a three-tiered process with rational, emotional, and survival (automatic) processes. Our rational/thinking capacity encompasses 85% of the brain, leaving only 15% for our emotional and automatic responses. On top of that, the emotional and automatic response areas have many links flowing from them, while the rational links are sparse. So when our emotions build up, they are like an aerosol can that gets too hot. They explode and we ‘react’ instead of responding rationally.

Feelings of anxiety and fear not only cause us to over-react, but to lose touch with our logical thinking? You couple that with feelings of doubt and unbelief and you begin to understand the response of the disciples in Mark 8. So it is essential that we learn some ways to return ourselves to a place of peace. Let me offer you some ideas for Anxiety Relief when you’re feeling anxious.

In my book, Peace for Anxious Times, I give you some ideas for managing your anxiety (chapter 5). This involves practices like Prayer & Meditation; Repeating Bible verses to yourself; Breathing techniques; Breath prayers; Vitamin B & Magnesium; Music; Physical Exercise; the Hand Position exercise; An Attitude of Gratitude (i.e. praise & thankfulness); Restful sleep; Essential oils (Lavender, basil, bergamot, geranium, and Roman chamomile), and herbal teas (Chamomile, Peppermint, Lemon Balm, and Passionflower).

I find it helpful to start my day connecting with God. It helps me have the right mindset for the day ahead. I’ve also found it beneficial to say the words of Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].”

Whenever you are anxious, I hope you will try some of these ideas for Anxiety Relief and remember the words of Philippians 4:6-7. In this scripture, God has promised that his peace will stand guard over your heart and mind if you do three things: (1) Pray (which connects you to God), (2) make your requests known to God (your specific needs), and (3) offer him words of thanks. All of these things will take your mind off of your stress/anxiety and refocus it on God (your powerful resource)! So bring on the Anxiety Relief!

 Note: This is the 3rd blog in a series concerning this miracle. My last 2 blogs will give you more information about this miracle.]

Managing Anxious Times

by Leave a Comment

Managing Anxious Times: A Holistic Approach

Managing Anxious Times is not easy! My book Peace in Anxious Times was finally published in November 2016! You can purchase it on Amazon.com in a kindle or print format. cover-sample-2

Today we are experiencing a lot of anxiety in the US and around the world! However, I have some ideas for managing anxious times in this fast-paced world!

Anxiety has physical symptoms, as well as emotional. It can appear as a sense of fear and worry or a feeling of being overwhelmed. It can cause our body to go into “fight & flight” mode, which is unhealthy when it happens too often.

In Peace in Anxious Times, I offer you multiple ways for managing anxious times. Here are just a few.

Ways for Managing Anxious Times 

  • Your breath is always accessible and should be your first awareness when you become anxious. Breathing exercises can activate your body’s relaxation response and help your body go from the fight-or-flight response to a relaxed response. 
    1. Allow your breath to flow UP one side of your body as you inhale in through your nose
    2. Then exhale as you go down the other side of your body
    3. Repeat four times; then reverse the order, beginning on the other side of your body
  • Make sure you are drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and eating healthy foods that offer you vitamins like magnesium, Vitamin B, Omega 3 fatty acids, and calcium, which assist you in staying calm.
  • Begin thanking God for everything you can think of. It’s hard to be anxious and thankful at the same time!
  • Mindfulness and meditation are also excellent practices to do. They help you focus on God, as well as help you stay in the present moment where his help and power are available.
  • Music is another wonderful resource for anxiety. You may want to listen to music, play music, sing, or even move to music. They all have wonderful benefits that can help you.
  • Physical exercise can be helpful. It releases hormones called endorphins, creating a more positive feeling within us.

My book, Peace in Anxious Times will also give you a 30-day interactive spiritual formation experience that uses God as your power source. It will also offer you stories of real people who have found ways to deal with their own anxiety. I invite you to join me in finding peace for your anxious times!