Path to Wholeness

Don’t Be Afraid

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“Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today…The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”              (Exodus 14:13-14 NLT)

As I looked at my teacup this morning, I saw the words, “Yes GOD can”. This caused me to reflect on some things that have concerned me lately – my health issues, my frustrations in life, people who tend to drive me crazy, and the concern I have about my future.
My eyes moved again to the teacup….. “Yes GOD can”. Do I really believe that?

What about you?

Maybe you have something bothering you today, maybe a fear. I heard someone once say that fear has two sisters: worry and anxiety. If we deal with this fear, it will not turn into worry and anxiety.

First Step

So, what can we do when fear erupts up inside of us? First, acknowledge and admit that you are afraid. (This fear will get stuck inside of you if you don’t deal with this when you  first feel it.)  The Israelites saw the Egyptians chasing after them and they panicked with fear (Exo. 14:10). Moses responded gently, “Don’t be afraid”. And then he offered them how to let go of their fear.

Second Step

Instead of us trying to fix it ourselves, we can respond in this way: “I will just stand still and watch the LORD rescue me today”. These are the words Moses spoke to those petrified Israelites (Exo. 14:13). In other words, put your trust in God. We must decide to allow God to do the work for us.

Third Step

But it may seem hard to STAND STILL!  Moses again says these wise words, “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.
I decided to look up other versions, to see how they express the word ‘Calm’.

  • You must be quiet (that sounds like meditation) [CSB]
  • Keep your mouth shut (i.e. don’t waste your time thinking about this over & over or saying it to others) [MSG]
  • Hold your peace (Jesus said this many times to His disciples) [MEV]
  • You must wait quietly (people hate to wait today; but “good things come to those who wait”) [EHV]
  • You will not have to do anything but stay calm (staying calm will help us be healthier & happier) [ERV]
  • Yahweh is fighting for you, so be still! (when you have God doing this for you, you can Rest in His Love) [NOG]

Let’s Follow Moses’ Plan

  • Admit you are feeling afraid.
  • Allow God to fix it instead of you.
  • And Stand still and stay calm.

Here’s some ways to do it

  • Do some breath work that is calming
  • Take a walk
  • Journal your feelings
  • Pray about this fear.

Over time, this will become a helpful habit!

Breathwork is Important

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Did you know that you breathe from 10,000-23,000 times a day? This means that your breath is essential to your every day life! But taking time to breath properly is important too.

Human breath began when God formed man from the dust of the earth. “He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and he became a living person” (Genesis 2:7, NLT). The breath of the Almighty is what gives us life (Job 33:4) and allows us to continue breathing every day.

How Breathing is Helpful

Healthy breathing can help us in so many ways. It can:

  • Help heal our body
  • Purge old energy and toxins out of your system
  • Help reduce stress, anxiety, pain & inflammation
  • Help us get better sleep at night
  • Help our hormone balance
  • Support a healthy heart and blood flow through the body.
  • Boost energy levels
  • Reduce anxiety
  • Help us get to sleep
  • Support brain functioning by increasing oxygen levels in the brain tissue

Breath was the first thing we did on this earth, and it will be the last thing we do. It’s important ever day, but we tend to botch it so easily.

Examples of Breath Issues

Take for instance, when you become anxious or stressed. This causes your heart rate and breathing to change, your blood pressure to increase, and your muscles to tense up. You immediately go into shallow, upper chest breathing or hold your breath. It’s a typical stress response, but you can quickly change this with abdominal breathing. It will help to control the nervous system and will encourage the body to relax. And when you are aware that you are holding your breath, remind yourself to breathe.

Another time our breath becomes shallow or rapid is when we are in the ‘fight or flight’ mode. God created us to have a natural ‘fight or flight’ response when we face life-threatening situations, like encountering a growling dog or having to slam on the brakes when someone stops suddenly in front of you. But in today’s culture, we tend to use it too often; it has become a trigger, not a response to real danger. This causes our body to have to prioritize the bodily processes that are necessary for survival. So, things like digestion shuts down. That’s why eating when you are stressed can cause digestive issues.

My Breath Issues

So, why am I so interested in breathwork? I was in a traumatic car accident when I was 5 years old, and my mom almost died before anyone could find us in the woods. After that, I never felt safe, so things easily made me feel unsafe or anxious.

Later as a young adult, I became hooked on adrenaline. It became a habit of moving fast and working hard, all to be successful (and to keep my mind off of my emotions). My body was always in the ‘fight or flight’ mode, even when there was no real danger.

I have spent quite a bit of time in counseling and meditation; but now I’m learning how to practice helpful breathing to deal with my triggers and unhealthy reactions. I believe all of us can deal with our anxiety and stress by improving our breathing.

Join me in  the Next Blog in this Series

So, I invite you to join me in my next blog on how to do breathwork. It can change you in many ways!

“When you are stressed and the world seems too much to handle,

you have two options: freak out or take a deep breath.”

Recovering from Covid-19 Pandemic

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A global ongoing pandemic, Covid-19, has shaken the world and changed our lives.

How Has Covid Affected You?

The first way it did was to feel us with fear! According to studies, the pandemic has caused us to have feelings of exhaustion, anxiety, nervousness, stress, and uncertainty. 

But it may feel like the pandemic is over and that we should be fine. But it’s like a car accident – you will feel some bodily and emotional responses after the accident is over, not during. I’ve been in three serious car accidents and they have left me with neck and shoulder issues. I’ve also had trauma-like feelings that I’ve had to work through.

The enemy is always ready to use something like this pandemic to wear us down? First, we can be left with feelings, like exhaustion, anxiety, nervousness, stress, or uncertainty. Secondly, we shut down and fail to nourish ourselves: 

  • We don’t nurture and care for our body, soul and spirit
  • We stay home a lot more and spend less time doing helpful things and being with others
  • We fail to exercise and take care of ourselves physically
  • We don’t take time to read but instead spend a lot of time on all kinds of media
  • We are too tired after a day at work to do anything
  • We feel powerless and out of control
  • We find it easier to become Irritated or frustrated in everyday life

On a more serious note, we might even end up using:

  • An addictions as a way of escape or
  • Become depressed or have feelings of suicide

How has Covid Affected us Spiritually?

We know that its affected us all Emotionally. But have you ever realized how it might have affected you spiritually?

  • Some people choose to stay home and not take time to worship at church and be a part of the community of face-to-face support
  • We also may be too tired to pray or do things that connect us to God
  • We may become distracted and move our eyes onto something else

Recovering from Covid

God is our LIFELINE! So we must prioritize him in our life or the enemy will try to win this battle! We must also take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spirituallly because we are the temple of God (I Cor. 3:16). Here are a few things that have helped me:

  • Plan a time each day (even put it on your calendar) to be with God.
  • Spend time journaling each day. It will allow the Spirit of God to be your counselor and let go of the distracting emotions and happenings in your life.
  • Try choosing more healthy things to eat
  • Exercising. especially outside in nature, can help restore you
  • Use a free phone App called, “Lectio 365” that offers a devotional in the morning and evening. It is so refreshing and helpful!
  • Another helpful phone App is one that can help anxiety, stress release, clearing your mind, or settling down for sleep, etc. It is called the “Breathwrk App”. Proper breathing can help you a lot with your emotions. It can also help prepare you for meditating by allowing you to relax and feel calm.
  • And finally, another helpful phone App is “One Minute Pause App”, a free App by John Eldredge. I have especially been helped by his “30 Days to Resilient” section. He is teaching me to let go of my emotions, open my heart to God, and allow God to be the priority of my life.

One Minute Pause App | Connecting with god, Paused, GodGod is the power source and can help you heal from the “after-affect” of this Covid 19 experience and any other stresses in your life.

“But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge.” (Psalm 73:28)

 

Letting Go of Fear

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Some people call us the Culture of Fear. Truthfully, there are things today to be fearful of: Economic collapse, cyberwarfare, government corruption, mass shootings, human trafficking, and many more. Letting go of fear is definitely a challenge. So, let me offer you some ways for letting go of your fear.

A Story of Letting Go of Fear

Katie Manning fell critically ill with chronic fatigue syndrome. Her tiredness was debilitating and she desperately wanted to find a way to get well. She saw numerous doctors and read countless resources about this illness. Finally, she realized that her most prevalent issue was that she had allowed her mind to spend a lot of time in a place of fear. Once she started working on this fear, she began to heal. By going through a process of letting go of her fear, she achieved complete healing.

This made me curious about how we can do this too. One helpful resource I found was “Love is Letting Go of Fear” https://www.amazon.com/Love-Letting-Go-Fear-Third/dp/158761118X/ref by Gerald Jampolsky, MD. He begins his book telling us that there are two main emotions that come in conflict with each other – Love and Fear. And we must choose which one will win.

We inherited the Gift of Love

Love is considered our natural inheritance. When the expert of the law wanted to know what the most important commandment was, Jesus said it was to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself. The Apostle Paul listed in I Corinthians thirteen, three important virtues – faith, hope and love; but he said the greatest of these is love. Love is a response that always wins!

Our Mind Manufactures Fear

On the other hand, fear is an emotion that our mind manufactures. Fear tends to attach itself to things in our past. It becomes a video that our mind plays over and over, connecting with the reminders from our past. This fear can be subtle and sneaky and will arise in many forms and disguises.

However, don’t confuse a manufactured fear with the real threat of harm that you are actually experiencing in the moment. Once this fearful threat is over, it will usually disappear. In comparison, the fear manufactured in your mind will whirl around continuously in your thoughts, choosing to stay and affect you.

Fear-Based Emotions

Let me show you a list of some fear-based emotions that might show up in your life:

  • Anxiety or worry
  • Anger, frustration or irritation
  • Feeling hopeless or helpless
  • Despair and depression
  • Panic
  • Fatigue
  • Dishonesty (by lying to yourself and others)
  • Getting cold feet or giving up
  • Excessive focus on the past or the future
  • Jealousy and suspicion
  • Shrinking away from your true self
  • Being selfish and not considering other’s opinions or viewpoints
  • Trying to please other people
  • Focusing on the negative
  • Not confronting others for fear of arguments
  • Not asking others to help you
  • Feeling worthless or alone

Do you see how fear can distort your perception? It can also cause you to be afraid of love without consciously realizing it.

Years ago, I began to live with fear because of a number of things I experienced. I tried to stay busy and please others, not wanting anyone to know who I really was. I felt worthless and became afraid of opening my heart to love. However, love and fear can’t be experienced at the same time. Unfortunately, I made a poor choice… I chose fear.

Ways to Replace your Fear with Love

But I have learned some responses that can help replace your fear with Love:

  • Forgiving people who have hurt you
  • Accepting people for ‘Who’ they are, not ‘How’ they act
  • Finding Peace of mind (People don’t have to change, in order for us to experience peace)
  • Begin living with Hope
  • Self-care
  • Imagining yourself safe in God’s arms
  • Letting go of everyone and everything, so you can be free
  • Trusting God
  • Meditating
  • Improving your health
  • Focusing on the present moment
  • Being Positive
  • Being Grateful and Thankful
  • Developing healthy relationships
  • Generosity
  • Laughter
  • Honesty
  • Joy
  • And Loving God, others, and yourself!

The Many Ways I Forgave

One of the things that helped me open my heart to love was to forgive. It took time because it involved so many people:

I needed to forgive my father for criticizing me so often; my mom for controlling me; a grieving grandma for hurting me; boyfriends who betrayed me; the policeman who was responsible for my father-in-law’s death – putting him in jail because he believed he was drunk when he had actually experienced a stroke; the man my mother-in-law remarried, who strangled her to death; the girl who was driving when my niece was killed, the woman who hit my nephew on his bike, taking his life; my husband and a friend betraying me; the man who brutally beat my ex-husband, who now lives with a brain injury; the drunk who slammed into my car, causing a lifetime of neck and shoulder pain. Thankfully, I began to feel free when I let go of my anger and hurt.

A while back, I went to bed and tossed and turned. My muscles hurt, my emotions were up and down, and my body was restless. I sensed a voice saying, “Gwen, you’re angry and you need to forgive what that family member did to you recently.” I immediately knew that was true. I forgave them and let go of my anger. I then fell into a peaceful sleep.

What You Can Do

I encourage you to pick out some of the fear-based emotions that you are experiencing right now (see the list above). Then look at the second list (a few paragraphs above) that offers you ideas for replacing your fear with love. Start  a habit of practicing these things in the second list. And don’t forget to ask God for his help. You may even want to journal about the people and experiences that hurt you. I found this helpful myself. It turned into a book called, “Broken by Accident”, https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Accident-Finding-Purpose-Stories-ebook/dp/B08K3W619L/ref. You may also want to find a counselor who can help you with this process of moving from fear to love.

The Rewards for Letting Go of Fear

Letting go of fear may seem like a big challenge for you. But your love for God, yourself, and others will improve through this process. It will allow you to make the best decision of your life – a chance to live in Love. And it will be the greatest experience you will ever have!